He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE.”

The next morning, Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window, and sure enough, there was a medium-sized gift-wrapped box in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back into the house. She opened it and found a brand-new bathroom scale.

Funeral services for Ed have been scheduled for Friday.

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed. Continue reading →

Went to church for the first hour (of 3) as I usually do on any non-first Sunday of the month. And as usual most of the program was ruined for me by noisy kids. I’m on the verge of never going back again because of some parents un-willingness to tell/teach their kids to sit down and be quiet and their inability to take them out into the hall when the kids won’t. IMHO it’s just plain RUDE to the people around you that may really be interested in the talks but can’t concentrate on what’s being said because some kid is making too much noise and the parents won’t do anything to quiet them. So, am I wrong here or am I just getting old?

So, when Sister H. asked me to attend her class I was already more than ready to get the hell out of Dodge. Said she was not teaching the Gospel but instead was covering "Journeling" and had the feeling that I should attend. A couple of things immediately went through my mind:

Continue reading →

No, not the old car! Finally saw another Galaxy with my telescope last night. No, I can’t tell you which one it is; I’m barely able to tell what direction I’m looking! It was kinda sorta north east when I first saw it. Still blurry/hazy but it was definitely another Galaxy. Cool! Sure will be glad when we get moved into our dome and out in the dark so I can maybe see more things. In all the shows I’ve watched where they show a galaxy, the center is always a bright ball of light. My question is: Why can’t we see this light from the center of our own Galaxy? We pointed the wrong way or something? Even if it is thousands of light years away; it’s had thousands of years to reach us. Especially if the center of our Galaxy is as large and bright as the others I’ve been shown. Hmmm…

Other than that: not much going on. Downloaded and watched the first 5 episodes of the new Bionic Woman. Cool show. I like how they have Katie Sakoff(?) (Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica) playing the (failed) prototype. And when you listen to the program with earphones on the sound is pretty neat.

Guess I’ll clean up around the house. Dishes need to be done! And it’s a really nice day out too. Damn. If I had my digger up at the property I’d head on up and move some dirt around or burn some slash or something. But, then, the way it works around here; if I had my digger up at the property it’d be raining like crazy today! Ah, life in Warshington…