He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE.”
The next morning, Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window, and sure enough, there was a medium-sized gift-wrapped box in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back into the house. She opened it and found a brand-new bathroom scale.
Funeral services for Ed have been scheduled for Friday.