Henry’s Accident

Henry wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in

and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now you probably won’t

remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You’re going to be ok,

you’ll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in the accident and

we couldn’t find it.”

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “You’ve got $9000 in insurance

compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They

work great but they don’t come cheap. It’s roughly $1000 an inch.”

The man perks up. “So,” the doctor says,” You must decide how many inches you

want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this

is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before

and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher

before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be

disappointed. It’s important that she plays a role in helping you make a


The man agrees to talk it over with his wife. The doctor comes back the next

day, “So, have you spoken with your wife?”

“Yes I have,” says Henry.

“And has she helped you make a decision?”

“Yes” says the man.

“What is your decision?” asks the doctor.

“We’re getting granite countertops.”

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