Bill Of NO Rights…


The Bill of No Rights
We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden or delusional. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that a whole lot of people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require The Bill of No Rights.
ARTICLE I
You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom and that means freedom for everyone – not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the World is full of idiots and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
ARTICLE V
You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we’re just not interested in health care.
ARTICLE VI
You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don’t be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII
You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don’t be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won’t have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII
You do not have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won’t lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you’d like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.
ARTICLE IX
You don’t have the right to a job. All of us sure want all of you to have one and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
ARTICLE X
You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness – which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.


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A Chain, A Bolt & A Cop…

Two Taliban mothers are sitting in the cafe chatting over a pint of goat’s milk. The older of the mums pulls out her bag and starts flipping through pictures and reminiscing…”This is my oldest son, Mohammed. He would be 24 now”.

The other mum replies, “I remember him as a baby.”

Mum says, “He’s a martyr now.”

“Oh, so sad my dear.”

Mum flips to another picture. “And this is my second son, Kalid. He would be 21.”

“Oh I remember him. He had such curly hair when he was born.”

Mum sighs, “He’s a martyr, too.”

“Oh gracious me ,” says the second mother.

“And this is my third son. My beautiful Ahmed! He would be 18”, Mum whispers.

“Yes,” says her friend enthusiastically, “I remember when he first started school.”

“He’s a martyr also”, Mum says, with tears in her eyes.

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Taliban mother looks wistfully at the photos and says………..”They blow up so fast, don’t they?”

Got up early (as usual). Went to the property to move dirt around. Stopped by the new Lowe’s and picked up 30ft of a nice heavy chain. Now if someone hits it with their truck it WILL cause some damage.

Stopped at the Sheriff’s office in Belfair to see if I could swear out a complaint about the guy that dumped his garbage on my property Monday. They said I had to have 3 (three!) pieces of paper with a name on them. Damn! But, the Deputy did look through his system and found a “Steven Barrick” local and said he’d call and tell him to pick up his garbage. Of course, he can’t guarantee that this Barrick will actually go out and do it. I’m still going to look him up and give a call if I find a number…

Reasonably nice day out once the sun showed itself. Got a LOT of dirt moved. Made my ’canyon’ a bit wider and used the dirt to shore up the edges of the road.


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